Blaine and I used to do vision boards every year for many years. Often those visions came true. We understood that if you kept a positive attitude and you said and did positive things that you would bring positive things into your life. The understanding was also that if you had negative thoughts that those would affect you in a negative way. So when Blaine got sick it was easy to think that maybe we did something to cause this terrible experience and if we just stayed positive it would go away. We are told we can heal ourselves with positive thinking. Well… it’s not quite like that and I feel compelled now to share that if you are thinking that positive thinking is going to wipe out all those big dark emotions that you have coming your way… well keep reading.
As I watched Blaine struggle with the chemotherapy treatments and the symptoms of colon cancer I could not help but think that I needed to be positive. I understood that the fear and the sadness and negativity were not good for our situation. We were told and so believed we needed to stay positive. Blaine was so strong and would remain so even in his darkest days. Sure there were moments where he showed some anger and frustration and yet he would do his best to return to a positive outlook. He and I would always do our best to return as quickly as we could to the positive thinking to get us through this terrible ordeal. Things just continued to get worse though, and harder, and more panic would set in as time went along. We could always feel those negative thoughts and feelings running in the background. Don’t get me wrong, I know that our efforts to stay positive were not in vain. Yet, I learned a great deal through this heart wrenching experience and it is really important I share this with you so you don’t make the same mistake I did.
You cannot just keep burying the hurt, sadness, anger, despair and fear with positivity. There is a natural process at play here called grief that needs to be embraced. There is no room for positivity to stay in a space that is crowded with these darker thoughts and emotions. Every time fear would come up for me, I would panic and thoughts would race through my head. I am not being positive, something awful is going to happen because I am not being positive! I have to stay upbeat and positive or Blaine won’t be able to heal. Quickly I would get busy changing my thoughts. I would say positive affirmations. What I didn’t know is that fear, anger, frustration, resentment and any of those other feelings that kept arising weren’t going away no matter how many positive things I said to myself. They needed to be heard and dealt with!
So here is the secret. Take time to feel those feelings!!! In fact make a point to take the time to sit with all of them at regular intervals. When you take the time to feel into those feelings and allow them to come forward - and yes it can be scary like you are unleashing pandora’s box - you are taking care of yourself. If you feel into these and express them through crying, drawing, journaling, singing, humming, dancing, exercising, whatever you want, I promise each time you do, you transform that pain into something else. You make space for a positive thought and a pleasant emotion. Now you are on your way to creating more space for positive things into your life. Now your positive emotions are truly positive and not just a mask for what is behind them.
Is your life going to be without challenge? Nope. You are going to have challenges. Some of them will be big, some will be small. We need to embrace them. All of them. This is the way through the pain. This is how you heal. I know it is a little scary letting all these emotions come forward. There might be a lot of them that you have been saving up. I get how it feels. I have been there. Energy healing and a really great coach can help you through the process of releasing the emotions and the energy that so desperately wants to come up for healing. This is what got me through. I am sending you so much love and encourage you to take care of yourself and find the support you need to help you through through this difficult time. Lots of love, Angela
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