When we are in grief we are told a lot of things that aren’t necessarily true. We are told by some who have been through grief that we will grieve for a lifetime. We are told that time heals all wounds. We are told that if we just keep busy that we will be fine. We also carry this guilt in our hearts about what we did or didn’t do that perhaps would have changed everything. None of these things we have come to believe is necessarily true and deep down we know it. The problem is we don’t know what else to think or believe and we don't even question it. These are beliefs embedded in the core of our being and they are strongly fixed into our systems. Our human self continues to run everyday with these beliefs. Our bigger, all knowing, spiritual self knows more but we don’t take time to listen to that part of us because we are so busy trying to live a life that screams at us to try to keep it together regardless of what is in our highest good.
One sure way to know that we are off our true path is noticing that we are not feeling any joy, happiness or fulfilment in our lives. I am talking about waking up everyday with that pit in the bottom of your gut. That part of us cries out for something that will ease the pain we feel. The part of us that really wants to change but has no idea how and does not believe we will have the strength to do it anyway. We don’t believe we can feel better. We don’t believe that we can ever get over the sadness and in time we hope we will eventually just learn to live with it somehow and then we succumb to getting up every morning with the same feeling of overwhelm.
What if I told you that you have been living a life completely out of alignment with what is true? Is there a piece of you that knows this? What if I told you that in time you can absolutely get your life back? Is that something you want? You can have a life you enjoy living again. I am living proof that it is possible. I also know many others that have gone through tremendous loss and have been able to heal and start a new life. It is possible to look forward with excitement and to look back with gratitude for what was. You can get there.
I bet some of you are wondering how this is even possible. Maybe you are thinking that's all good and fine for her, she is not me. This is true. I am not you. However, in the past year I have interviewed over 70 people who also have recovered from all kinds of loss and believe me there are a lot more out there that I haven’t met yet! Their stories are all unique but the one thing they have in common is that they all found hope and because they believed there had to be a better way they decided to start finding a way and that is what started them on their healing journey. You will find your way too.
One of the hardest things people try to do is move on and make their new life without taking the steps to heal. They try to jump back into the life they were living and pretend like they are okay and they just hope one day if they just fake it that they will one day make it. It is not possible to make this jump without taking some steps in between. Some people try this jump many times and finally just give up and succumb to the fact that they will never heal. Eventually you just give up. Who can blame one for giving up? Losing a loved one is so hard! I am telling you that despite what you might think and feel now, there is always hope. There is always a choice.
I am not diminishing the fact that there is pain with grief. I know pain. I felt so much pain. I still sometimes feel some pain from time to time but it’s not something that stays with me. This coming weekend is Father’s Day. I think about Blaine and how he would love to be a grandfather to these two wonderful new grandchildren. I think about how I would have loved to have him by my side. He absolutely adored kids and there would have been nothing he would have rather done than play with his grandchildren. How much fun would that be for all of us to have him here? My mind has gone there for sure and sometimes I feel the sadness. I also have the tools to navigate through those thoughts and I know that when those emotions come up something needs to be felt, acknowledged and healed. I use what I have learned to feel into those feelings as much as I need to and then when I am ready I think about how I want to live my life now. I didn’t learn this on my own though. I decided to reach out and ask for help. I decided I was worth it. I decided that I have a choice. I decided no one is going to come and save me or give me what I am needing unless I go ask. I am the only one that has the power to take that step and make that change.
Because of what I have been through I just want to help whoever I can. I am so blessed to be given the opportunity to be helping others everyday realise that they have more power than they think. I do what I do because I genuinely care and I know what it feels like to wake up every morning with that sadness and despair that dampens anything that might otherwise be joyful. I want you to feel joy again and find your new life and I will keep on learning and growing and sharing my journey with you for however long it takes to help you find your way. You are important, you are loved and we all deserve to live a life of love, joy and purpose. Thank you for being a part of this wonderful, supportive community. Together we can support each other in profound ways.
I want to also take this opportunity to wish all the Dads here on earth and also in heaven a very Happy Father’s Day. Sending you all so much love, light and peace.
Angela
Comments