Over the course of my life, I taught myself to keep my emotions in check. I was often complimented on how calm and easy going I was. What others didn’t see and what I have come to know is that I was really quick to swallow any emotion that came up for me. Rather than allowing myself to feel that emotion, I would brush it off and turn my focus towards something else or someone else.
The emotions that come with the process of grief are extremely intense. I have learned that over time, if we continue to push them away, the energy of emotion will continue to build in the body and ultimately resurface, perhaps when we least expect it, forcing us to feel the emotion so intensely we can hardly bear it. When this happens, some of us will find ourselves turning towards something to numb that intense emotion or sometimes we let it out in unhealthy ways. Numbing is common, and it works for a time, yet at some point the emotion will return. It is then that we must choose. We can continue to try to find ways to numb that intensity or we can face the deep, dark depths of the pain.
More often than not, there is just too much emotion with all that is going on in our own lives and around the world. Many people have chosen to go numb. They do this by gambling, drinking alcohol, smoking, shopping, eating, taking drugs and over working. These behaviors are indications that there is some underlying deep pain and emotion that needs to be addressed. If you are one of these people, you are certainly not alone. For me , it was working. I still have to watch myself. Eating is also my go to numbing agent when things get tough.
It may seem impossible to beat addiction. Yet, many have. It's not something we are meant to do ourselves. You deserve some kind and loving support after all you have been through. We all need it and we all are worthy of it. We are meant to grieve alongside someone who cares. We are justified in requesting that support. It is what we do to honor ourselves. When I finally decided to reach out for help, that is when I found the perfect coaches, mentors, healers and earth angels.
I truly believe everyone should have someone to check in with, no matter what their situation. Even if we perceive ourselves to be healthy in all ways, we still should have a coach, an advisor who cares, someone to confide in, get advice from, and someone to let us know that we are loved and valued. No one goes through life without challenges. We all can use guidance. This support has to be from someone you trust and look forward to meeting with. This direction should happen at scheduled, regular intervals. I also believe that different supports will naturally come into our lives at different times, depending on our needs. Why not consider investing in your future? Let your heart guide you to the support your soul desires, wherever that may be. Sending you so much love, Angela.
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