I am so blessed to have had some time to experience the world in a new way. When you have a look at something from a different place it takes on a new meaning and something inside of you grows. There are new realizations and understandings. I think it is important to get away from your routine once in a while even if you don’t go far, just taking yourself out of the everyday space helps to bring a new perspective. My travels to South and Central America were just that.
I went into this adventure for many reasons but partly with the intention to learn to experience life by staying in the moment as much as possible and trying to be myself as much as I could. The mind is a wonderful thing but mine tends to want to work overtime and I really wanted to start to pay more attention to my thoughts and my fears and how I could take control of those thoughts and purposely choose the way I want to feel rather than succumb to whatever old story wants to replay in my head.
I remember reading in the book “The Sun Still Rises” by my favorite motivational speaker Shawn Doyle that when he lost his wife he went away and spent some time away in his grief to try to figure things out. It was an important part of his healing. As I read more books about people who are grieving they often choose to travel if they can. These authors write about their insights that they gain from their travels. Often there is something that compels them to seek out something new and it can be a jumpstart to new knowledge or insights about their grief.
The past three weeks have been a whirlwind of adventure. I spent time with my parents and a good friend and I met new people and made new friends. I learned a lot about new cultures and ways of life and I had the opportunity to face some fears, check off some things I have always wanted to do and do some things that I never thought I might do! I also spent a great deal of time on or near water and as I am learning water is significant in a profound way for healing emotion. There is an energy there that draws out what yet needs to come up for healing. Think of how so many are drawn to the beach, the lake, a river or a bubbling stream as a place to get away. It is a natural inner knowing that leads us to that place.
There were so many times in my travels I would think of Blaine and some took me back to when we met and the memories and even the music we listened to came back to help me remember. I would think about how we were so fortunate to get some wonderful family travel in before he left but also some beautiful adventures with just the two of us, the last one being Jamaica. I have learned that sometimes we are gifted these beautiful, perfect moments before a time of turmoil, grief or loss as a beautiful memory to reflect upon in times of challenge. These memories bring tears but also a sense of great gratitude for those opportunities to love and be loved so much and also the hope and desire that someday we will experience more moments like those even though we have no idea how. There is something magical in these moments that helps us know that they are divinely inspired and created and that if we can trust in a power so much greater than our human selves we will know there can and will be more of those magical moments to come if we can open ourselves to just have faith and to let go and surrender to how, when or where.
One speaker I interviewed talked about the way grief spirals and we come around similar feelings of sadness, regret, guilt, anger over and over. Sometimes it can feel like we are not making any progress at all but if we truly embrace those feelings each time and let them come up for recognition and healing, they become less difficult because we are learning and growing through them. I believe this is true and I think of it as an opportunity to further integrate what we have learned. Don’t make the mistake of letting your mind and your thoughts tell you that you are not moving forward. It will just keep you stuck. You are always moving forward even if you don’t feel like you are.
I find going home each time I leave a time to integrate all that I have experienced. It too is a little like a spiral. It is the culmination of all the trips before and each time I leave and return I come back with a little more insight. I remember the first few times I went away and returned sick. I look back now and see that my body needed a way to purge the old energy and the old beliefs. It was a way to let that go and rest and heal. I also realize that I needed time to use my intention to make my home feel like my home. It needed to be a place I was happy to return to. Everyone needs a place that they feel is home and it takes time and patience for that when we have just uprooted. Once I take the time to relax and release then I am able to find my inspiration again, run with it and learn more.
I plan to stick pretty close to home now for a while. I have missed my kids and my grandson and I am ready to resume life in Maple Creek again. I have interviews lined up for my next summit and I am very excited to welcome a granddaughter soon.
I would like to leave you with this thought. They say home is where the heart is. When we live with an open heart and learn to drop into that space are we not always home no matter where we physically reside? I think it is something to think about and practice each day.
Angela
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