Well it’s all a happy memory now. Sheldon and Whitney’s Special Day turned out to be a joy filled day. The weather was perfect and so were the guests. Some magic and so many little miracles sprinkled throughout the day and the week made it very special. Everyone seemed to have an amazing time and we all enjoyed being able to celebrate together again.
Today I am deeply satisfied, tired but also in that mode of trying to refocus. We have had the wedding plans front and center for the past week and now it is all over. I feel like it’s time to shift gears but part of me is a little sad it is over.
Working together with family for a common goal is very rewarding. It can be a little stressful at times but it is a good feeling to know you accomplished something amazing together. I love how our family and friends stepped up to help in so many ways and each of them became part of the magic. There is no way this goes so smoothly without the guidance, support and physical assistance from others. It is the same for us who are grieving. We need the support from others to help us get through and the rewards for everyone are much greater when we all have a part in the healing. That’s why it is so important to keep in touch and to be honest with your feelings whether you are the one grieving or the one supporting.
As Mother of the Bride you have some specific duties as traditional weddings go and one of those is to give the welcome to the family speech for the groom. This was a source of great pride for me to have the opportunity to formally welcome Sheldon and also the union of our two families. I just had this underlying sadness of having to do it alone. It seemed pretty unfair that I would have to do this without Blaine by my side.
As always I had to first process the emotion around the whole event. I knew if I did not deal with the emotion I would not be able to enjoy the whole experience the way I wanted to. I have learned that if you do not let the sadness go you cannot feel the joy the same way. So I made sure I took the time to process in the evenings along with acknowledging the fact that I would be tired and need my sleep.
Another thing that had to change was my thoughts towards the whole thing. The main focus needed to be on Sheldon and Whitney and their special day. It was not about me but I had to be careful to take care of myself so I could be available to them in a way that was helpful. I decided that I needed to approach the whole thing in that context. Instead of thinking about how unfair it was to not have Blaine here for this event, I started to think about what needed to get done to make this event the best it could be. It was kinda fun to sit down with them and spend time going through what needed to be done and the vision they had for the day. We made lists and we divided and conquered. It was fun to see how their vision all unfolded so perfectly.
Of course having mom and dad and my brother and my sister in law and my aunt here with me was a huge support. Friends and Family really rallied the last few days to help make everything run smooth. Perhaps what was the most fun to see was just everyone enjoying themselves so much. Benson was able to make an appearance. Everyone took their turn on the dance floor. It warmed my heart to see everyone smiling and dancing and especially to see Whitney and Sheldon enjoying themselves and embracing the day.
Yes there were some tears. There usually are at a wedding. In my speech I talked about Blaine and what he would be saying and thinking during this special day. He thought the world of Sheldon and Whitney and would be so delighted about the whole event taking place the way it did. I missed his ability to just coordinate people and assign or delegate jobs. He was so good at that. Having said that, I believe he was very much there the whole way through guiding and supporting us in ways that we don’t even know. I had three mourning doves flying erratically in front of the windshield of my car as I was running an errand for the wedding. It was pretty obvious what was going on. He was getting me to slow down and have a little giggle amidst all the business. Also out in my front yard there were so many butterflies flying around my big pine tree. This was happening for a couple of days leading up to the wedding and the day of. Butterflies are a metaphor for transformation and hope, rebirth and resurrection, for the triumph of the spirit and the soul. They were a reminder for me to just trust in the journey and the process of healing and keep going inward for the answers and the guidance. As long as I stay connected to my true self and keep moving forward I see magic and miracles happen every day.
All in all it was an amazing day. We will have lots of pictures and video to remind us of how beautiful it all was. Now it is time to refocus and reset. I find this time in limbo a little difficult. Changing gears is a little uncomfortable. My family will head back home to the Island now but at the same time I have things coming up to refocus on. There is a family reunion coming up next weekend and it will be another emotional time as we have had several losses from the Devlin clan in this past year. We never really know what lies ahead. We can only set an intention and just keep trusting in the process and watching for the magic and miracles along the way. Until next week…
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