Have you ever felt like you have been lifted out of your life and just plunked right into an entirely new environment and then just expected to live that new life just like you know how to do it? When I look back on where I was last year at this time until now I am amazed at how I could even adapt to this new environment.
To put things into perspective, last year at this time my husband had been diagnosed for stage 4 colon cancer and started chemotherapy treatments.. I took a leave from work as a principal of a small K-12 school. We had decided to move closer to a hospital. Within a week of looking, we had bought a beautiful home. In April we moved to our new home and shortly after my son in law, Sheldon, was diagnosed with Lymphoma. In June I decided to retire from my position. The summer was a blur of appointments, chemo therapy and doing everything possible to help Blaine and Sheldon through what felt like a nightmare. We did our best to stay positive and kept moving forward despite so many difficult days. Our 35th wedding anniversary quietly came and went. In August we put our dog of 14 years to rest. Sheldon completed his treatments in September and we rejoiced as he had a clean scan. Blaine's chemo treatments had to be changed and so we had to go to Saskatoon for the first new treatment. Unfortunately he contracted Covid and even though he managed to get through that pretty well, he lost his fight just a few days after his next treatment. The day before he passed, my daughter Whitney was married to Sheldon in our home and my Son Curtise and his wife Jennifer announced to Blaine and I that they were expecting a baby.
When you think about the amount of upheaval my family and I underwent in one year, it is no wonder that I look back and shake my head in disbelief. Just retiring and moving would be enough of a shock to ones system without becoming a widow. Now I would look forward to being a grandma but without a grandpa to share it with. How was I supposed to feel about that? How was I supposed to cope? It has been overwhelming I will admit, and yet I have made it through this far. There were some days where I just wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out but somehow deep inside I just knew I had to find a way to heal for myself and my family and so I keep on searching for a way.
Now planted on my new path, I look back and think how far I have come. It has been almost 4 months since Blaine crossed over and I have begun to build a new life. I haven't forgotten him, just feel like I am learning a new way to move on with him cheering me on from a new place. So if you are feeling uprooted, just know that even though you have been dropped on this new path there is still life. I feel joy, sorrow, peace, pain, and everything in between but the key is I FEEL it all. I am learning to take it as it comes. This is my new life, as I call it my chapter 2, and I have determined it is worth living every minute. Let me know about your Chapter 2. What does it look like? What would you like it to be?
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